My experience watching The
Hobbit Part 3 was reminiscent of cross country races I formerly
participated in. Having been to one, I
knew what to expect – an arduous journey that is only truly satisfying when it
is finally over. Cross country was
character building and established friendships during an important chapter in
my life. The Hobbit trilogy has given my family a shared annual event, something
to look forward to and enjoy together.
Yet neither the cross country or the Hobbit movies provide anything but
agony and despair – merely they were the conduits which linked me to something
good.
Alright, I recognize that "agony and despair" is a
slight overstatement.
I remember good
things about cross county; running through the woods, passing a few people,
(those are the only two I can think of right now).
Similarly, the
Hobbit trilogy provided a few bright moments; Bilbo and Gollum in
the cave was pretty cool, Bilbo and Smaug in the cave was pretty cool, and
hearing a familiar exchange between Bilbo and Gandalf from a different point of
view in the third film was also pretty cool.
But really, 8 ½ + hours of video for 10 minutes of enjoyment, that seems
unreasonable to me.
It's not Peter Jackson's fault that the
Hobbit trilogy is so bad, it's our fault.
The
Lord
of the Rings was written, filmed, and edited with a sense of desperation
that had previously made
Star Wars
great.
With a limited budget, limited
resources, writers and actors who are passionate about the material, and one's
own money and reputation on the line, films like
The Fellowship of the Ring and
A
New Hope are possible.
Unfortunately, in both George Lucas' and Peter Jackson's cases, without
the previously mentioned limitations, when left to their own devices, the
results are disastrous.
Our consumption of
the
Lord of the Rings trilogy
emboldened Jackson to morph into someone who would feel comfortable releasing
the Hobbit movies.
Had we only known
what we know now, perhaps things would be different.
Think of the artists who toil an entire
lifetime, never achieving fame or fortune, yet their works are
"discovered" years later to much acclaim.
Wouldn't it have been better to pretend that
we didn't like the Lord of the Rings trilogy, forcing Jackson to struggle
against all odds to get
The Hobbit made?
Then perhaps, just maybe, it would be a much
better film.
Before I close, I realize that this may be one of the worst
movie reviews ever written; I haven't even discussed the movie itself.
The movie begins at a moment that assumes a
recent viewing of the previous
Hobbit
entry.
In a better series that
assumption might be appropriate (i.e.
The
Two Towers), but here it's simply confusing.
The characters in this film are so bland and
indistinguishable (other than Bilbo) that they could be compared to extras in Schwarzenegger
films from the 80s…
The AK-47 wielding
enemies in Commando were never meant to evoke our sympathy; they existed only
as M60-fodder.
Unfortunately everyone
in the Hobbit movies feels like that.
Even
the central characters Gandalf and Bilbo, who are protected by chronology, all
too often get lost in the mess.
And the
movie is a mess, not as bad as the last one, but that isn't saying much.
Battles within battles, so much fighting and
enemies coming from every direction, without any substantive narrative.
Maybe it's just me, but good guys fighting
bad guys does not make for a good storyline.
At least in
Commando Schwarzenegger
is on a mission to rescue his daughter.
The
Hobbit movies offer no
such motivation.
Unless I am mistaken,
everyone is fighting over a really big pile of gold -- is no one concerned
about inflation in Middle Earth?
That
much coin injected into their economy will devalue everything.
Like a grueling cross country race, I am glad that the Hobbit trilogy is over.