The Hobbit Part 3

My experience watching The Hobbit Part 3 was reminiscent of cross country races I formerly participated in.  Having been to one, I knew what to expect – an arduous journey that is only truly satisfying when it is finally over.  Cross country was character building and established friendships during an important chapter in my life.  The Hobbit trilogy has given my family a shared annual event, something to look forward to and enjoy together.  Yet neither the cross country or the Hobbit movies provide anything but agony and despair – merely they were the conduits which linked me to something good.

Alright, I recognize that "agony and despair" is a slight overstatement.  I remember good things about cross county; running through the woods, passing a few people, (those are the only two I can think of right now).  Similarly, the Hobbit trilogy provided a few bright moments; Bilbo and Gollum in the cave was pretty cool, Bilbo and Smaug in the cave was pretty cool, and hearing a familiar exchange between Bilbo and Gandalf from a different point of view in the third film was also pretty cool.  But really, 8 ½ + hours of video for 10 minutes of enjoyment, that seems unreasonable to me.

It's not Peter Jackson's fault that the Hobbit trilogy is so bad, it's our fault.  The Lord of the Rings was written, filmed, and edited with a sense of desperation that had previously made Star Wars great.  With a limited budget, limited resources, writers and actors who are passionate about the material, and one's own money and reputation on the line, films like The Fellowship of the Ring and A New Hope are possible.  Unfortunately, in both George Lucas' and Peter Jackson's cases, without the previously mentioned limitations, when left to their own devices, the results are disastrous.  Our consumption of the Lord of the Rings trilogy emboldened Jackson to morph into someone who would feel comfortable releasing the Hobbit movies.  Had we only known what we know now, perhaps things would be different.  Think of the artists who toil an entire lifetime, never achieving fame or fortune, yet their works are "discovered" years later to much acclaim.  Wouldn't it have been better to pretend that we didn't like the Lord of the Rings trilogy, forcing Jackson to struggle against all odds to get The Hobbit made?  Then perhaps, just maybe, it would be a much better film.

Before I close, I realize that this may be one of the worst movie reviews ever written; I haven't even discussed the movie itself.  The movie begins at a moment that assumes a recent viewing of the previous Hobbit entry.  In a better series that assumption might be appropriate (i.e. The Two Towers), but here it's simply confusing.  The characters in this film are so bland and indistinguishable (other than Bilbo) that they could be compared to extras in Schwarzenegger films from the 80s…  The AK-47 wielding enemies in Commando were never meant to evoke our sympathy; they existed only as M60-fodder.  Unfortunately everyone in the Hobbit movies feels like that.  Even the central characters Gandalf and Bilbo, who are protected by chronology, all too often get lost in the mess.  And the movie is a mess, not as bad as the last one, but that isn't saying much.  Battles within battles, so much fighting and enemies coming from every direction, without any substantive narrative.  Maybe it's just me, but good guys fighting bad guys does not make for a good storyline.  At least in Commando Schwarzenegger is on a mission to rescue his daughter.  The Hobbit movies offer no such motivation.  Unless I am mistaken, everyone is fighting over a really big pile of gold -- is no one concerned about inflation in Middle Earth?  That much coin injected into their economy will devalue everything.

Like a grueling cross country race, I am glad that the Hobbit trilogy is over.