Sunday, August 09, 2009

G.I. Joe

Perhaps I will only be restating what has been said over and over again since this movie was announced, but this is my review, so I think it is my right. I grew up on G.I. Joe. As my brothers can attest to, I loved playing with these action figures and their vehicles whenever I could. We didn't have the big ones; the hovercraft or the aircraft carrier. We didn't have an army of vipers or even all the Dreadnaughts. What we didn't have we made up for with imagination. We built bases, secret underground hideouts and even rivers running down our neighbor's backyard. Storm Shadow was the ninja who spread fear into the hearts of all the Joes, until of course he himself turned good. I'm pretty sure Matt had a Hiss, which was the best tank ever made. Matt had The Baroness, I had Zarana, Matt had Scarlett, I had Lady Jay. Then there was The G.I. Joe movie, and I capitalized "The" because it was all we needed. The end all, be all, definitive action adventure movie about these characters that we loved to play with. Just watch The G.I. Joe movie to find out what Cobra Commander, Destro, Roadblock and Zartan are really like.

That unfortunately brings us to the new "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" movie. At least the let down had been prepared for, and I was able to approach it with little expectations. The story and the acting were actually the best thing here. Scarlett is played by Rachel Nichols, who was previously in the last season of Alias. I mention this only because this movie reminded me a little of an episode of Alias; it had alright production values, moved along pretty quickly, and the actors did what they could within the confines of the script. Beyond that, maybe it's just my glorified memory, but Snake Eyes is way cooler back in the day than he is in this movie. I guess I'm just tired of hitting, kicking, blocking and jumping as a character's full repertoire when it comes to fight choreography. Snake Eyes is a ninja! He doesn't just jump out of an airplane and start wailing on people. There should be like 15 people on the ground before you even hear the plane. Anyways, Jude and Jesse loved this movie, and I'm sure if they saw the stuff from my childhood they'd think it was lame. So sad. What sucks the most is that it should have been someone who loved the stuff from my childhood making this move, instead of someone trying to cash in on my memories. Capitalism at its finest I guess.

2 comments:

Matthew R. Crum said...

While I too feel like this movie didn't live up to my expectations, and I had this feeling after seeing the previews, it was fun to see the cast of characters come to life. I had fun seeing side characters and remembering the action figures... Wild Wiesel, E.E.L.S., wasn't sure who Brendan Fraser was but I think Flint. In a way that will keep me coming back for more. I want to see more V.I.P.E.R.S., and more of the other figures I grew up with - Tunnel Rat, Jinx, Snow Job, Beach Head, Tomax & Xamot. So, Paramount, if you are reading this, while I may prefer the cartoon to live-action, keep providing characters who I knew and I will keep coming to see your movies.

Nathaniel said...

I don't want to see this movie mainly because I think it looks like xxx 3 or something. There are so many other movies that are out on dvd that I haven't even seen yet, so by the time I'm done seeing them I can just rent G.I. Joe and watch it at home.